Forgive and let go.

Today marked my second day at work. I am happy to say that I found one Sabahan friend here. The best part, she sit next to my desk and the moment I knew that we came from the same place, I can't stopped talking to her. I talked to her like I've known her for 10 years already.

My first day was all about the company history, the do's and the don't. After that, I was left at my desk doing nothing and I ended up reading all the emails. It was 200 plus emails and I read them all. Not really like read them all completely lah....baca permulaan sikit,tengah-tengah,pastu ending. Lol.

So far, everything just fine for now. And, I thank you Lord for always guide me to the right path even sometimes I am stubborn and lose faith in you. I thank you for never let me go. Amen.

Anyway, I would like to share one story about somebody dear to me. She was married like 3 years ago or so. She finally, chose to file her divorce because of her abusing husband. The saddest thing was that, her husband took away her only child. And left her with tons of debts. She decided to leave and moved to a new place with some hopes that she can start a new life. But just recently, her ex came to her house and took the car which she has been driving for three years already. And that happened when she was away from the city.
She didn't make much comment about that but I can sense her pain.

As a female, I felt sad and pain for her. I know how it feels when someone who are very dear to us did something hurtful like that. In her case, the husband took away the son and run while she was working. He gave no sign nor warning. And after that, you leave her with all the debts and after so many years, after all what you did to her, you came back and took away the only thing that left. I don't understand with this kind of attitude. You claimed that she destroyed your life, but you never think yourself what have you done to her. You are not even giving any financial support to your family beside you beat her to almost dead. And now, you said she destroyed your life. As a friend to her and as a friend to you once, and if you are reading this, I hope God show you the right way. Everyone did mistakes. She, you, me - everyone of us have flaws.

Sometimes, the things just don't work out. And the more you force it to happen the more ugly it will be. Trust me, no point to keep hatred for the love which you can't get. That is painful to love someone who doesn't loved you back, I know. But human feeling is not a robot which you can programme. When it doesn't meant for you, it will never be no matter how hard you want it. It will never be. So why force? Why revenge?. You may hurt their feeling just for that temporary but for the long run that will hit you back.

Dear friends out there, I know it is pain to love someone who never love you back. Forgive and let go. With that, you can forget.

Pray and never lose faith to God dear friend.

Stay in love. Good night.

Stop Worrying

Taken by Samsung Note 2
Disappointment is one of life's most uncomfortable feeling. Disappointment can be anger, frustration and hurt or emotion that I couldn't describe by words.
I used to get disappointed very fast when my needs doesn't meet my expectations. I woke up from sleep one day and realized that I am getting worse. I get disappointed over some little things very fast. I let it affected the people surround me.

Disappointment and expectation makes me a negative person. I couldn't live happily when I was in Malaysia. I spent most of my precious time worrying over things that I should not.

One day, a person who is very dear to me suggested if I could consider to start over somewhere out from my cocoon. It has been running over my mind since then before I finally decided to move here a couple of months ago.

It didn't start very well of course. I got hiccups here and there. But then, I believe most people do face some kind of dilemma to let go and holding to past. It has been two months now and everything are just so new to me. I am getting know the people and the places here. It just felt like I am starting all over again from zero.

But I like it.

So here I write down some of the guide that I practised along the way to be the positive and happy me.

1. Give myself a permission to fully feel the pain. From there I slowly build an acceptance to the situation that I am dealing with.
2. Avoid unrealistic expectation.
3. Be true.
4.Think positive.

We all live under some circumstances that are not ideal. But, it''s not life is the problem.

P/S I finally got a job :)


Get Your Information Correct.

It happened to be that one of my longest good friend invited me for a group whatsapp chat. It was good to chat and re-unite with the old schoolmates. But it turned out ugly when one of them acted like they knows everything about you where they don't.

I felt that was quite annoying especially when it involves false information. Like, "Ouh dia di Singapore bah tu sebab sa dingar dia kawin Chinese Singaporean."

Feel like I want to slap her straight to the face and let her learn how to get the information right first before she open her mouth. One thing about being the orang kampung who is kepoh and busybody is they never get the information correct and always came up with their great make-up stories. "Bayangkan bah,yang tinggal jauh berpuluh ratus ribu pun dia buli dapat update cerita konon,kalau betul tidak apa juga."

I'd like to tell you a story about what had happened to one of my friend. She work as a Programmer and one day she go back to her home town for a short holiday. As usual, the orang kampung kepoh asking about what is her job in Kuala Lumpur. So she keep repeating that she works as a Programmer. Little did she know, after some time- there was a rumor saying that she work as a GRO. We as a friend was like, what the hell is going on. The best part is, her old mother believed all the rumours about. "Ini unsur fitnah ni."

Luckily, she have a brother here and the brother help to explain to the mother about what is her job and what is she doing.

I am not looking down on those person who is not highly educated. But as a human being, can we just get the detail right before we open the mouth?. Sometime, those old chaps especially mothers ( not all but some) when rumour hits they sometime fall in to.

But sometime really, it is a waste of time to argue with orang kampung who think he or she knows everything. It is like talking to a stupido.


My Guide To Happy Life


I've been talking much about my love relationship in the previous blog that I'd really forget what exactly I want in life. I've been focusing so much in finding a true perfect love. Once you've been into a wrecked relationship, all I could ever say is, I just want a perfect true love.

No. I won't talk about a relationship today. But I'll talk about how to live a happy life. And that would be :

1. Start saving now. Don't wait until you are in mid thirties. For now, I stick to the plan of keeping a $500 aside every month.
2. Start exercising. May it be running for a start. For now, I start doing badminton every Monday and during my free time.
3. Start exploring new things. For now, I start going for swimming. Honestly, I am scared with water. But this is one thing that I need to overcome.
4. Spend more time outside rather than the on-line stuffs.
5. Spend every weekend with the loved ones. I find that, time is ticking and it makes me think that I do not want to miss every bit of the moment with that someone special.
6. Do the give and take practice. Remember, men is not a dog. It is not hurt to share the loads. Perhaps, we could treat them once in a while rather than they keep on paying our foods and any other stuffs like that.
7. Start to eat more fruits rather than meat.
8. Start to love yourself. Every bodies are beautiful. Believe yourself and the confidence will bring the best of yourself.
9. Be positive.
10. Always believe to God and never stop praying.

Till then. Love always!!


Be Like Kiwi

When I was a kid, I have wrote quite a number of lists about my dream man. I used to fantasize my dream man as attentive,faithful, loyal and understanding. Plus a bit sense of humour will be good. And to add, romantic. Not forgetting, respect to one another.

I'd like the idea about a man who surprises his girlfriend. I'd like the idea about a man who holds his girl's hands and hug her most of the time when they walk down the street. I'd like the idea about a man who tells his girl how much he is into her. But in reality, you will never going to meet a perfect man who lived like what you have in your fantasy world.

In search of true love I've stumble with some stupid ass-hole may it from working place,friends of friends or online dating ( nah, I am kidding ).

The thing about me. I have an addictive thinking. There are time when I do judge based on first impression. There are times when I shoot a question and when they hit the wrong answer, I'll just back off. And of course, it never bring me to that true love after-all.

Until one day, someone asked me about my definition of true love. At some point, I want a relationship like a fairy-tales. Like the Cinderella or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Honestly, it's killing me but fairy tales never exist. We can't keep a man with us 24/7 if that's what we called attentive. We can't change a man according to your needs because they are not a dog. Nonetheless, you are lucky if they hit 80% of your wishlist.

So, I have to admit that I am quite a perfectionist. But when it come to finding the right person, trust me nobody are perfect enough. Will it fair enough if I say, we have to judge ourselves first before we put the point on someone?.

Morale of the stories, when he choose you that's because you meant everything for him. Like I say, nobody are perfect so learn to appreciate.

P/S and please stop the addictive thinking. Be like kiwi. Green and peace.


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